


You Never Forget Your First

by IWannaBeYahtzee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bad Sex, Depressing, Dubious Consent, First Time, Heavy Angst, Humiliation, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Loss of Trust, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Painful Sex, Pregnancy Scares, Rape/Non-con Elements, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 14:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16042208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWannaBeYahtzee/pseuds/IWannaBeYahtzee
Summary: You're first time is supposed to be special.Loki's isn't.





	You Never Forget Your First

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys... this is not a happy fic. Like not. I'm probably gonna make a companion piece to this one involving Thor that will be happy but this?
> 
> This ain't happy.
> 
> I just got to thinking about it and I realized that Loki's first time probably wasn't anything special. It didn't mean anything and hell he probably didn't even enjoy it! So here. You all get this. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Your first time is supposed to be special.

Loki's wasn't.

He's long forgotten the boys name by now. Maybe he made himself forget but he had made him feel special at the time, when he was young and naive and so very, very stupid.

Taller than him with short cut brown hair, leanly built but strong armed, his interest in botany was close enough to Loki's gift for potion making that they always had plenty to talk about. In fact Loki had trusted him so much that he had been the only one besides his mother that he told about his...extra parts. 

He had been so nervous to bring it up to him but once he did the boy didn't seem disgusted at all. He seemed...intrigued even! They talked for hours that day and after that they were closer than ever. He started calling Loki his 'total package'. Brains, beauty, and everything down under too! Of course no one knew what it meant but them but Loki appreciated the nickname all the more for it. 

So when the boy stole a kiss from him one day when they were on one of their usual strolls he didn't think much of it. Loki had always had a bit of a crush on him and he relished in the affection, so he wasn't about to turn him down. 

The stolen kisses in private continued. Then they turned into caresses, his hand making its way not so innocently down his body. Before he knew it, the boy was taking every opportunity he could to pin him to a wall and furiously claim his lips.

Then the topic of going further came up. It was an inevitability the way they were going and as far as Loki was concerned since he was the only one who seemed to understand his anatomy, if he was going to give his virginity away, he'd be the perfect candidate.

They move somewhere more private at Loki's behest. "If I'm going to lose my virtue it will be on a bed." He had said, trying to pass it off as one of his many snarky lines and not a genuine sign of nervousness. The boy had laughed as he pressed him against the furs of his bed, kissing his neck.

The boys eyes raked over his naked body with a hunger Loki had only seen in his brother on their many hunts together, as he shyly stripped. It felt good to think that he could excite someone this way.

It isn't long before the boy is spreading young Loki's legs and pressing his length inside him. It hurts but Loki has read that it always hurts at first so he grits his teeth and bears it. The boy doesn't give him much time to get used to the new and painful intrusion. He begins to thrust, deeply and violently.

He asks him to slow down. He doesn't. 

It burns. He feels as though he's being speared open with every thrust, his muscles spasming and clenching around his hardness, having not had the chance to relax.

He begs him to go slower, that it hurts, but he simply silences him with a kiss and presses in deeper. Their thighs smack together and the boy grunts animalistically above him. Meanwhile Loki can only whimper and try not to cry. He brings his hands to cover his mouth. He doesn't want to hear himself like that, but the boy pins his arms above his head. He says he wants to hear him more.

The boys thrusts become more erratic than ever and Loki can see the end in sight. He asks him not to come inside. He doesn't listen. When Loki asks him why he tells him that his tight little pussy felt too good to pull out of. He tries to take it as a compliment. He can't. 

Then the boy gets up to go.

"You're leaving?" young Loki asks, begs. The boy regards him strangely. As if, of course he's leaving. He's meeting friends he says. And then Loki is alone, and scared because of course he cast a spell before they started but what if it didn't work? His magic is still so fragile at the best of times. What if he gets pregnant?! He's still so young, he can't have a baby!

But he can't cry yet. 

He knows he can't just sit here and cry when the one friend he had, had just left him naked and alone and potentially knocked up.

So he gets up, dresses, and despite the pain in his lower half he walks down to the riverbank with dignity. 

It is thankfully vacant. So he strips yet again, and begins to clean himself out.

Finally, alone, he allows himself to cry. 

He cries, and he cries and he plots his vengeance.

\---------------------------------------

 

Loki had had much more sex in life since then. 

Certainly much more enjoyable sex, albeit lacking any emotional connection.

But you never forget your first.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeesh. I depress myself. I'm gonna go write that happy fic now.


End file.
